pathetic but...

so i've got no coping skills.

i seriously thought about killing myself today. i'm not going to go into details but i wanted to do it so bad. i feel like i need to die. i can't deal with the pain that i'm feeling right now. i need to like stop living right now. i can't fathom my life without him. it sounds fucking cliche, pathetic, naive, and stupid but its true. it's how i feel. i feel like i can't breathe and my heart is shrivelling up. the pain surges throughout my entire body and i want to just fucking end it.

why? like why? why did you continiously lie to me. i'm dying. i'm going to die without you. you know that and you don't care. why didn't you just tell me i didn't mean shit to you?

im fucking shattered
i fucking hate everything
i really wish i was brave enought to end myself.