then again

I can't sleep or stop thinking about you, which sucks cause I have a meeting @ 8.

to be honest, it would be easier to get over you if you hadn't planted these ideas in my head of love, marriage, commitment, babies, and shit. seriously, why did you do that? I didn't give that stuff a thought before, but since you said you wanted it, I wanted. I'm fucking stupid. you were obviously just saying shit to make me think you were serious about me. I always knew you didn't take me for real. I was always a joke to you but to me you're my entire world.

I've been thinking, I really hope I do die from a broken heart. not to make you feel guilty or anything, not that you'd even give a damn. but I hope I die from a broken heart so that I know during my final moments, it'll be because I loved you too much. it'll be all for love. a lovely, loving death. I'd die because I love you and you don't love me. I'm already dead without you anyway. what's the difference? I don't want to feel your absence. I don't want to feel anything but your skin and hair and arms. I can't bear to live without you, michael.